This is days 3, 4, 5, and 6 of my trip to Haiti. Sorry the journal entries are going up so slowly.
Day 3: Mon, March 15, 2010 8:13pm
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It’s off to work we go…
This morning my day began at 6:20am, but fear not – I got almost TEN hours of sleep! Getting ready took all of ten minutes, sunscreen and bug spray application included. Breakfast was great – tasty eggs with peppers and meat, toast and natural peanut butter, and the best pineapple I’ve ever had. I tried mango as well, but the texture was just too odd.
I ran around playing with Marklee after breakfast until it was time to load up and head to the boys’ home. None of the children whose schools were affected by the earthquake have gone back to school until this week. Marklee and Lori start back to school tomorrow. The boys’ home is a 30-minute drive from the house. The whole team plus Marklee piled into the taptap, the equivalent of a Haitian taxi, and off we went to the boys’ home.
When we drove up to the compound there were boys waiting for us. Some of them were ran off to hide when we said “Bonjou” to them. Others just stared at us. Then there were the outgoing, curious ones that walked right up to us and introduced themselves. There wasn’t much time for play for the first part of the day. We quickly got busy inventorying all the lumber and metal sheets, and some of the boys were eager to help us. I was put in charge of tallying all the numbers were and getting categorizing them by measurements. As they were moving supplies from an empty school room to separate piles outside, a rat ran out from under the lumber pile and scurried around the little room. Our team with Haitian additions were yelling, squealing, and laughing at the site of the rodent. I was standing in the doorway and jumped higher than I ever knew I could jump all the while flailing my arms. Once the rat finally ran off I realized I smacked my forearm against the door frame in the midst of all the chaos. There will definitely be a bruise there. It has already started to form.
Once the inventory was complete we began the task of breaking up and removing the ground that had shifted during the earthquake and spread across the basketball court. The basketball court will be where we build 10 temporary school rooms with the lumber and metal we inventoried. Once all the ground was removed with a lot of help from our Haitian friends, we began the framing for the school rooms. I’m learning a lot about construction work and tools. The team working inside the church began the support rafters for the ceiling beams in the church. It was a busy, busy day.
At lunch Marklee accidentally dumped a full 32-ounce water bottle into Jeff’s lap. The water continued to drip down Jeff’s legs all through lunch, and he had wet pants the rest of the day. Priceless.
The boys are all so sweet. Some are super-friendly and talkative while other are shy, but they are all beautiful. Haitian people are such beautiful people with chocolate skin, dark eyelashes that are long and curly, small stature, slender bodies, and distinct features that gleam gorgeousness. Mackenlay, the youngest little boy that is 2 ½, is absolutely adorable. This afternoon I got to hold him for a while, and he just cuddled up against me and nestled his head in my neck. That feeling is one of the best.
I was curious to see how the language barrier would play out when we met the boys, but God has shown me that love spans all languages. No matter how broken the verbal communication may be, love is still there. I have seen how easily
love can be shared and expressed with hardly any verbal communication past, “Bonswa! Kouman rele? Mwen rele Kelsey.”This afternoon there was a little girl that came up and grabbed my hand. She walked around with me & Mackenlay, sat in my lap, played with me, and clung close to my leg for hours without saying a word. And I loved her without saying a single word. I was sharing the gospel. The message of the gospel is so much more than simply walking through the Roman Road or even telling Bible stories. It is relational. It is real. It is a physical expression of unconditional love, and what better way to share that love with someone than to live it out in your life right before their eyes.
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Day 4: Tues, March 16, 2010 8:45pm
Burdened
Today began early like every other day. We had breakfast and loaded up in the taptap soon after. Jeff drove us all in the taptap today for the first time and did a wonderful job I might add. When he first started it up there was a little trouble. It stalled out several times, but once we got rolling the whole ride went smoothly – well, not smoothly in the literal sense, but there were no problems along the way.
I was very productive in our team’s efforts today. Jeff, Jon Dean, and I worked together to nail all the lateral ceiling support beams of our first 5 classrooms. Then it came time to nail up the plywood siding, and that was a full team effort. There was just a line of people, American and Haitian, driving in nails to get that siding up. I found that the easiest way to nail down the bottom edge of the plywood was to stand with my backside to the wall and bend over at the hip nailing between my legs. That was very efficient until we got to the last board of plywood. As I bent over to nail in the LAST nail at the bottom I heard a rip. When I put my hand behind me and felt my bare skin it confirmed my suspicion – I split my jeans. I stopped nailing, stood up, and told Jeff, “Ummm…we have a problem. I think I ripped my pants.” After Brittney & Bethany examined the backside of my pants they told Jeff that I was definitely exposed. So Jeff untied his bandana from around his neck and gave it to me to tuck in the back of my jeans. I scurried up the hill as fast as I could with lots of eyes watching I as I walked off. I found Jen, and we went to the room where we’ve been keeping all our supplies. Jen & I attempted to patch it with duct tape twice, but both attempts failed after several minutes of sweating and moving around so we returned to the supply room. Luckily, Jen remembered she had brought a skirt in her backpack so I just changed and worked in a skirt the rest of the day. After lunch Brittany & I climbed through a room filled with random things – a baby crib, tables, walkers, gutters, extension cords – and when I say climbed, I mean literally climbed. There was no floor in sight in that room. We climbed to the back of the room where we stood on top of an unsturdy wood pile and strategically removed plans that we then passed to Jen at the door. We hauled out dozens and dozens and dozens of 16-feet 2x6 & 2x4 boards to replace our depleted supply and continue framing the classrooms. We framed classrooms 6, 7, & 8, and our roofing team – Jeff, Jon Dean, Ellen, and Brittany - began roofing the first classroom. Unfortunately, they were forced to stop roofing when they stripped the only drill head we had today. John Alix got more so when we begin work again in the morning the roofing team will be able to finish the job.
In the way of food, today I tried fried plantains, Haitian coffee, and a fish eyeball. The coffee this morning was fabulous! The plantains at lunch tasted good as well. The fish eyeball I tried at dinner – umm I can now say I ate a fish eye, but I won’t be doing it again. It was just mushy and grey with an old, spoiled fish taste to it.
I learned a lot of new words in Creol today. Some of them are:
· Boosh – mouth
· Ne – nose
· Zojle – ear
· Cheve – hair
· Ku - neck
· Shjeep – skirt
· Pantalo – pants
· Maiyo – shirt
· Mwen renmen ou – I love you
· Ami putoonta – Friends forever
Funny story of the day: Splitting my pants. At least everyone else thought it was funny. The team teases me about it, and all the boys were laughing at me all day and telling their friends about how I split my pants. They thought it was funny to watch me work in a skirt.
My hair has never been as gross as it was today when we got back from the boys’ home. I washed it in the sink, and now it feels so much better! Since I ripped one of my pairs of pants that leaves me with one pair to wear the rest of the trip. That should be interesting. We are all starting to smell pretty bad, and the baby wipe baths don’t really do too much to help.
God has continued to show me today how His love can cross any language barrier, and the overflow of love in my heart can touch lives.
This morning Mackenlay saw me as soon as I stepped out of the taptap. He had the biggest grin on his face as he playfully ran off waiting for me to chase after him. So I ran after him, and when I caught him I threw him up in the air and heard him let out the cutest laugh I’ve ever heard. It is only the second day, and already these kids have captured my heart.
I am also seeing God’s heart and work in other countries. I’m growing to grasp the concept that God is the God of this world, every tribe, every tongue, every nation. Tonight John Alix prayed to bless our dinner in Creol. What a beautiful example that God is the God over all people. The boys sang a couple of worship songs for me in Creol, and even though I can’t understand the words they are sweet music to my ears – to hear these beautiful people praising God in their language.
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Day 5: Wed, March 17, 2010 10:05pm
Learning what it means to have a Servant’s Heart
I love waking up here. I feel totally rested, and the first thing I see is the view out the window next to me – the side of the mountain cascading with beautiful trees & flowers that look like a colorful burst of excitement and then simple houses that were sprinkled from Heaven among the glorious mountains of Haiti. That has been such a blessing. Breakfast today was great – pancakes, melt-in-your-mouth bacon, and the best cinnamon roll bread ever! After breakfast we all hung around for a while before loading up in the taptap. Jeff drove again, and his taptap-driving skills are improving. The 30-minute ride to the boys’ home made me sort of nauseous today.
As soon as we got to the boys’ home Marccedoin brought Mackenlay to me, and soon after playing with him I realized his diaper was dirty. So I picked him up and went to find Rosna. I told her that Mackenlay had a dirty diaper and I could change him if someone just showed me where. She chuckled a bit and then asked Astin to clean Mackenlay. So I followed Astin with Mackenlay in my arms, and we proceeded behind the dormitory to an area that looks out onto the beautiful mountain view. Astin got a large metal bowl and filled it halfway with water. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to do, but I continued to watch silently. I put Mackenlay down next to the bowl, and Astin undressed him using his diaper to wipe him off as best he could. Then he sat Mackenlay in the bowl of water. As he sat there, Astin splashed him off a little, then left and came back with a rag. He wiped Mackenlay off, and then picked him up and stood him next to the bowl to dry. Astin took the bowl & rag and left to several minutes. When he returned, he picked up Mackenlay and carried him to the tent, put a new diaper on him, and re-dressed him. The whole process took probably 20 minutes and such an eye-opening experience about how different cultures are.
Today we were in the middle of an aftershock earthquake. The amazing part is that none of our team knew that until Dan told us later. Dan was down at the house foundation when people from the village began running around frantically and yelling at each other in Creol. Dan asked the man next to him what was going on, and the man said, “Do you not feel that?!” When Dan looked over at the buckets next to him he saw the water splashing out of them. That’s when he realized we were in the midst of an earthquake. None of our team felt it yet all the Haitians around us felt it and were afraid. What a blessing from God! He has been so faithful to keep us safe.
The classrooms are almost done! Only 2 of the 10 rooms left to add roof and siding to tomorrow. All the roofing happened today after lunch because when we arrived this morning we were welcomed with the sight of 2 classes meeting in out classrooms. Obviously we couldn’t do any roofing until after lunch when school was out. So our roofing team spent the morning framing out the final 2 classrooms. The rest of us were designated to assist the team in the church that is repairing and reinforcing the damaged rafters. Let me tell you, that is a slooow process and not one that can be sped along by adding more people. Basically…I had nothing to do. At first I tried to help, but it just seemed like
I was more in the way than anything else. I walked around trying to find someone that needed help, but everyone was moving along with their tasks just fine.
I went to sit in a pew in the church and do nothing. I was staring at nothing moping with a bad attitude about not having a job to do when I looked at my watch and realized it was 2:30pm. The day would soon be coming to a close. Only a couple hours left until we would leave the boys’ home, and I was sitting on my butt having a pity party all by myself. Then I remembered Jeff telling us to be actively seeking out opportunities from the Lord to love on people. So I prayed for a joyful attitude and a servant’s heart before I set off to find opportunities to love on those kids. I ran into several boys that I had wonderful conversations with. I met Wiclis, got to hear Jersino tell me about how he came to be at the home, and played with lots of little boys. Then Jeff told Rachel, Ellie, & me that they needed 54 pieces of metal roofing down the hill for the classrooms so we put it in high gear and started as assembly line with some of the boys. We had that job done in practically no time.
The true heart of a servant is content in doing whatever it is that needs to be done and seeks out opportunities from the Lord to do His work no matter what that looks like – because it won’t always look like what you pictured or necessarily wanted.
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Day 6: Thurs, March 18, 2010 7:21 pm
Convicted: witnessing true joy
Today we finished the classrooms! It only took 30 minutes to finish roofing. I spent most of my day with children again, but at the beginning of the day Bethany, Melissa, Rachel, and I gathered the last bit of lumber needed for the church rafters. Bethany and I climbed into that crazy storage room and passed lumber to Rachel who carried it out the door with the help of Melissa and some of the boys.
This afternoon Jeff asked me to go down the hill and relay a message to Ellen and Tiara. So I walked down the hill to tell them that Jeff would be back with nails and hammers in 10 minutes. I ended up just sitting down with Ellen and all these little Haitian girls that were surrounding her. Probably 15 minutes later we heard tapping sounds, and after looking around confused we realized that it was beginning to rain. Ellen and I jumped up to move our chalkboard dividing walls under the classrooms where they would be protected from the rain. The rain quickly got harder and harder. It was wonderful being able to stand under the classroom structures that we built and be protected from the pouring rain. The amazing part was knowing that on Monday all ten classrooms will be packed with children that can finally return to class since the earthquake, and they too will be protected from the rain.
A few minutes later the rest of the team came running/sliding down the hill in the rain hurrying to move all the supplies only to find that Ellen, Tiara, and I had already moved all of it with the help of our Haitian friends. So there under our temporary schoolrooms in the midst of a rainstorm we all began singing worship songs together. It was a beautiful moment.
In spending so much time with the boys I keep noticing things about the way they live. They are all sleeping in 3 tents. They play in an old broken down truck with a shattered windshield. They use rocks to play toss and kick around crushed bottles like soccer balls. The little boys play with a broken cell phone tied to a string and collect the wood scraps left over from the electric saw as blocks. They share 3 children’s books that are written in English between all the little boys. The older boys study dictionaries and ancient-looking workbooks to learn English, and they have been picking our brains while we are here to learn as much English from us as they can. When the boys get hurt they get over it and keep playing even when it looks like a cut that needed stitches. I can’t help but think about the stark contrast between their lives and my own life. These precious boys are beaming with joy every day yet it would seem that they are so much worse off than me. It's because these boys have found contentment in where they are and are thankful for all God has done for them. They praise God and thank Him for where they are right now, not the situation they wish they were in. I can learn so much from these boys.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
A country overwhelmed with poverty
Here are my journal entries from the first 2 days of my trip to Haiti:
DAY 1: Sat, March 13, 2010 8:11pm
The journey begins...
The plane just took off. I am officially on my way. It still feels surreal to me that in less than 24 hours I will be in Haiti. I don't know at what point it will all hit me. But I'm ready! No fear, no anxiety, no hesitation. Just excitement, peace, and thankfulness. I'm ready for everything that lies ahead. God is going to do wonderful things this week, and I get the opportunity to be a part of it. I didn't expect to get this amazing opportunity so just being a part of it and seeing how God has ochestrated this trip so far has been a blessing. God's hand has definitely been in our preparations from each of our team members that were chosen to now.
I am confident that the Lord has prepared me for His work. At times I feel ill-equipped for such a chance to show the Lord's love to the hurting people of Haiti, but I know the Holy Spirit is in me. With a humble attitude and a servant's heart the Lord can work through me.
"This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Our team is great, and I'm looking forward to getting to know each of them better. Poor Rachel has been throwing up on the plane as a side effect to her malaria medication. I hope and pray that the Lord restores her health & strength quickly.
Well that's all for now. Tonight we are staying at a hotel in Miami and then flying out tomorrow afternoon for Haiti. Until tomorrow - Orevoua!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DAY 2: Sun, March 14, 2010 6:54pm
A country overwhelmed with poverty
Today has surely been a long day! Last night our plane landed in Miami around 11:45pm, and it took an hour and a half before the first bag from our flight appeared on the baggage belt. After all was said & done we arrived to our hotel at 2am. Just to our luck, last night was the “spring forward” daylight savings time so we actually arrived to the hotel at 3am and were in bed by 3:30. After a short 3 ½ hours of sleep we awoke to begin our day and continue on our journey to Haiti. Needless to say, after arriving back to Miami International Airport we were all still tired so about half of our team grabbed a bag as a pillow and laid down on the floor of the airport to rest. I was lucky enough to get almost 2 hours of rest while we waited for out flight.
As we all anxiously awaited our flight time, our team met a young man named Woody who began talking to us. He is from Haiti but moved to the U.S. many years ago. He was returning to Haiti to visit his mother who he hasn’t seen in 9 years. He asked us questions about our trip, and come to find our he is a Christian. Long story short, we talked with him for at least a good hour and listened as he encouraged us in our work for Christ and shared with us more about Haitian culture. Before it was time to board the plane we asked if we could pray for him. We all gathered around him, and Jon Dean prayed for his safety, courageous heart, and reuniting with his family.
The plane ride was filled with anxiety and excitement, but I wasn’t prepared for what I would face once we left the airport. We de-boarded the plane and were shuttled over to a portable annex building where we would go through immigration and baggage claim. After searching out all of our 14 checked bags of supplies, the boys loaded them onto 4 baggage carts. We were then instructed to stay close together and refuse to let anyone help with our bags. As soon as we exited baggage claim we were immediately face-to-face with the devastation and poverty of Haiti.
There were Haitian men lined up all outside the makeshift airport waiting to try to take our bags for us in return for money. Jen, Jeff, and Dan had told us to politely & sternly say “No, merci” and continue on. So I wasn’t incredibly surprised when we were confronted by the men. What I was totally taken back by were all the little Haitian boys that came to us as we were waiting for the bags to be loaded into the truck. A little boy probably about 6 years old came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder begging me for money. I knew that I had to say no despite the fact that I carried $80 in my wallet. Having to turn that little boy away broke something inside me, and it only got worse. Before I knew what was going on there were small boys all around us asking for money. My heart broke for them as I thought of the conditions they must be living in. The mob of boys followed us & grew bigger as Dan, me, and 3 other girls on the team followed John Alix Paul to his truck down the road. John Alix is a Haitian pastor in Guibert and the director of Hope for the Hungry’s boys’ home. Even as we got in the truck and shut the door there were boys knocking on the windows with their desperate expressions. I couldn’t help but think of the stark contrast between those skinny, filthy little Haitian boys begging for money and the well-groomed, care-free American children I see every day with all the toys they could dream of and not a single thought of where their food will come from. I asked Dan if he thought those boys had families. He told me that some probably have parents that sent them to beg for money, but some are orphaned from the earthquake or other circumstances & have nowhere to go.
We pulled away from the crowd of young boys and the trip up the mountain to Guibert began. That trip was…heart-wrenching. To see such natural beauty in the mountains and then find the most horrendous cases of poverty, need, and destruction in its midst raises so many thoughts, emotions, and convictions. To see pictures of all the destruction is nothing like driving through it and being confronted by it in such a abrupt, personal way.
John Alix drove us to his home where we will be staying for the week. His home is beautiful. It is 2 stories with decorative tile & wood flooring. The architecture and layout of the house are so unique from any home in the U.S. The room where the girls will be staying is upstairs, and the boys are staying downstairs in an open room.
We met Mi Lynn (John Alix’s wife), Lori (his 10-yr-o daughter), and Marklee (his 7-yr-o son). Junior, John Alix’s brother, lives next door with his wife & 4 kids (Victoria, Gregory, Cedric, and Jhiel). We played with the kids outside for hours until we were called inside for dinner. Dinner was wonderful! Everything was naturally grown, homemade, and had its own unique flavor. By homemade I mean buy a live chicken, break its neck, chop its head off, gut it, season it, and cook it. Good stuff! As gross as it sounds, I think it would be a fun adventure to learn how to do that.
Well like I said, today has been a long day, and tomorrow may very well be more exhausting so I think it’s about time I get some sleep.
DAY 1: Sat, March 13, 2010 8:11pm
The journey begins...
The plane just took off. I am officially on my way. It still feels surreal to me that in less than 24 hours I will be in Haiti. I don't know at what point it will all hit me. But I'm ready! No fear, no anxiety, no hesitation. Just excitement, peace, and thankfulness. I'm ready for everything that lies ahead. God is going to do wonderful things this week, and I get the opportunity to be a part of it. I didn't expect to get this amazing opportunity so just being a part of it and seeing how God has ochestrated this trip so far has been a blessing. God's hand has definitely been in our preparations from each of our team members that were chosen to now.
I am confident that the Lord has prepared me for His work. At times I feel ill-equipped for such a chance to show the Lord's love to the hurting people of Haiti, but I know the Holy Spirit is in me. With a humble attitude and a servant's heart the Lord can work through me.
"This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Our team is great, and I'm looking forward to getting to know each of them better. Poor Rachel has been throwing up on the plane as a side effect to her malaria medication. I hope and pray that the Lord restores her health & strength quickly.
Well that's all for now. Tonight we are staying at a hotel in Miami and then flying out tomorrow afternoon for Haiti. Until tomorrow - Orevoua!
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
DAY 2: Sun, March 14, 2010 6:54pm
A country overwhelmed with poverty
Today has surely been a long day! Last night our plane landed in Miami around 11:45pm, and it took an hour and a half before the first bag from our flight appeared on the baggage belt. After all was said & done we arrived to our hotel at 2am. Just to our luck, last night was the “spring forward” daylight savings time so we actually arrived to the hotel at 3am and were in bed by 3:30. After a short 3 ½ hours of sleep we awoke to begin our day and continue on our journey to Haiti. Needless to say, after arriving back to Miami International Airport we were all still tired so about half of our team grabbed a bag as a pillow and laid down on the floor of the airport to rest. I was lucky enough to get almost 2 hours of rest while we waited for out flight.
As we all anxiously awaited our flight time, our team met a young man named Woody who began talking to us. He is from Haiti but moved to the U.S. many years ago. He was returning to Haiti to visit his mother who he hasn’t seen in 9 years. He asked us questions about our trip, and come to find our he is a Christian. Long story short, we talked with him for at least a good hour and listened as he encouraged us in our work for Christ and shared with us more about Haitian culture. Before it was time to board the plane we asked if we could pray for him. We all gathered around him, and Jon Dean prayed for his safety, courageous heart, and reuniting with his family.
The plane ride was filled with anxiety and excitement, but I wasn’t prepared for what I would face once we left the airport. We de-boarded the plane and were shuttled over to a portable annex building where we would go through immigration and baggage claim. After searching out all of our 14 checked bags of supplies, the boys loaded them onto 4 baggage carts. We were then instructed to stay close together and refuse to let anyone help with our bags. As soon as we exited baggage claim we were immediately face-to-face with the devastation and poverty of Haiti.
There were Haitian men lined up all outside the makeshift airport waiting to try to take our bags for us in return for money. Jen, Jeff, and Dan had told us to politely & sternly say “No, merci” and continue on. So I wasn’t incredibly surprised when we were confronted by the men. What I was totally taken back by were all the little Haitian boys that came to us as we were waiting for the bags to be loaded into the truck. A little boy probably about 6 years old came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder begging me for money. I knew that I had to say no despite the fact that I carried $80 in my wallet. Having to turn that little boy away broke something inside me, and it only got worse. Before I knew what was going on there were small boys all around us asking for money. My heart broke for them as I thought of the conditions they must be living in. The mob of boys followed us & grew bigger as Dan, me, and 3 other girls on the team followed John Alix Paul to his truck down the road. John Alix is a Haitian pastor in Guibert and the director of Hope for the Hungry’s boys’ home. Even as we got in the truck and shut the door there were boys knocking on the windows with their desperate expressions. I couldn’t help but think of the stark contrast between those skinny, filthy little Haitian boys begging for money and the well-groomed, care-free American children I see every day with all the toys they could dream of and not a single thought of where their food will come from. I asked Dan if he thought those boys had families. He told me that some probably have parents that sent them to beg for money, but some are orphaned from the earthquake or other circumstances & have nowhere to go.
We pulled away from the crowd of young boys and the trip up the mountain to Guibert began. That trip was…heart-wrenching. To see such natural beauty in the mountains and then find the most horrendous cases of poverty, need, and destruction in its midst raises so many thoughts, emotions, and convictions. To see pictures of all the destruction is nothing like driving through it and being confronted by it in such a abrupt, personal way.
John Alix drove us to his home where we will be staying for the week. His home is beautiful. It is 2 stories with decorative tile & wood flooring. The architecture and layout of the house are so unique from any home in the U.S. The room where the girls will be staying is upstairs, and the boys are staying downstairs in an open room.
We met Mi Lynn (John Alix’s wife), Lori (his 10-yr-o daughter), and Marklee (his 7-yr-o son). Junior, John Alix’s brother, lives next door with his wife & 4 kids (Victoria, Gregory, Cedric, and Jhiel). We played with the kids outside for hours until we were called inside for dinner. Dinner was wonderful! Everything was naturally grown, homemade, and had its own unique flavor. By homemade I mean buy a live chicken, break its neck, chop its head off, gut it, season it, and cook it. Good stuff! As gross as it sounds, I think it would be a fun adventure to learn how to do that.
Well like I said, today has been a long day, and tomorrow may very well be more exhausting so I think it’s about time I get some sleep.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Learning Dependence
I'm off to Haiti today. I find myself at a loss for words. I can't believe the day has finally come. You know that nervous, anxious, excited feeling of adrenaline rush you get in your stomach that feels like butterflies but makes you almost wanna throw up? I woke up this morning with that feeling lurking inside me.
I have come to realize in preparing for this journey that I have become very comfortable with where I am. And so many times comfort leads to complacency - at least in my case. I have found comfort in my constant access to food, hot showers, clean water, plumbing, electricity, sturdy shelter, Christian friends, money, my planner, internet, education, organization, and so many other things that I take for granted. I always have some idea of what lies ahead. Sometimes there are bumps in the road that I didn't expect, but I am never traveling blindly or completely throw off course.
All of that to say that when you feel like you have everything under control and anything you need is at your disposal, you cease to depend on the Lord. You cease to seek after Him and cling to His promise that He will always provide for His children. I should be satisfied in seeking the Lord, following His will for me, and striving to obey His commands. He tells us that He will not forsake us. If God loved us enough to sacrifice His only Son to save our souls then don't you think He will provide for our needs while we are on this earth? When I put it that way it sounds so silly not to trust that God will provide. But in each of our hearts we either have some doubt that His Word is true and He will provide, or we have a fear of the uncomfortable. To be honest, I think maybe my reason has been a bit of both of those.
As I prepared for this trip God has opened my eyes to my complacency and repulsed me with my own self. But that is good because it brings about change. As I've gone days without showering, taken ice cold showers, eaten less at each meal, and found myself in almost constant prayer, I have slowly begun to depend more on Christ to be my only source of fulfillment. I have said that many times, but until now I don't think I have truly known what it means to become dependent on Christ alone because there is no way I will get through this week and all that it entails on my own strength, power, and provision.
I have come to realize in preparing for this journey that I have become very comfortable with where I am. And so many times comfort leads to complacency - at least in my case. I have found comfort in my constant access to food, hot showers, clean water, plumbing, electricity, sturdy shelter, Christian friends, money, my planner, internet, education, organization, and so many other things that I take for granted. I always have some idea of what lies ahead. Sometimes there are bumps in the road that I didn't expect, but I am never traveling blindly or completely throw off course.
All of that to say that when you feel like you have everything under control and anything you need is at your disposal, you cease to depend on the Lord. You cease to seek after Him and cling to His promise that He will always provide for His children. I should be satisfied in seeking the Lord, following His will for me, and striving to obey His commands. He tells us that He will not forsake us. If God loved us enough to sacrifice His only Son to save our souls then don't you think He will provide for our needs while we are on this earth? When I put it that way it sounds so silly not to trust that God will provide. But in each of our hearts we either have some doubt that His Word is true and He will provide, or we have a fear of the uncomfortable. To be honest, I think maybe my reason has been a bit of both of those.
As I prepared for this trip God has opened my eyes to my complacency and repulsed me with my own self. But that is good because it brings about change. As I've gone days without showering, taken ice cold showers, eaten less at each meal, and found myself in almost constant prayer, I have slowly begun to depend more on Christ to be my only source of fulfillment. I have said that many times, but until now I don't think I have truly known what it means to become dependent on Christ alone because there is no way I will get through this week and all that it entails on my own strength, power, and provision.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Passion from the Father
Tomorrow is the day. At this time tomorrow I will be arriving at the airport to begin my journey to Haiti. Our team will be flying to Miami on Saturday and then flying out to Haiti on Sunday morning.
This past week has been overwhelming to say the least, but God's presence has been so evident in the midst of it all. On Wednesday, I was asked a simple question - "What has God been teaching you? What has God been doing in your life?" I got to thinking about it and had lots of answers. But one thing stood out...
For many months I have been praying that God would give me passion - passion for the Lord, passion for others, passion to serve. As I look back on the months since I began praying that and seeking that, I am amazed. God has gone above and beyond my prayers and expectations. I read scripture in a whole new way. The Word of God has a deeply-rooted truth in my life that wasn't there before. It's like I am reading it for the first time, and my heart and mind are capivated with the love and truth spoken from our Heavenly Father. How could I have missed this before?! Because my reading of scripture has changed, I look at my walk with Christ in a whole new way. I am called to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. That means everything I am and everything I have is devoted to Christ above any other commitment I may have. I am called to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will direct my path. That means I have to push my pride aside, acknowledge my own inadequacy, put all my heart and trust in the hands of God, and recognize that I do everything in and through the Lord. I am called to take up my cross and follow after Christ. That means I leave behind the things of this world, cling to the call God has placed on my life, and seek to live the way Jesus lived. That means I am to pursue Christ passionately and persistently. I am called to reflect and represent Jesus Christ in all I do. That means I must deny my worldly desires and be aware that I am living for something more than fleeting pleasure. That means I must read scripture to know how I can best reflect Christ.
God has answered my prayer for passion. He has given me a passionate desire to pursue Him and a passioate love beyond any I've ever known. I pray that as I go to Haiti that passionate love would spill out of me into the lives of the Haitians around me. I pray that Jesus Christ would begin stirring up a passion in the lives of those in Haiti to love and follow the Lord. I pray that their hearts and minds would be open to our service and the message we bring with us. I pray that the joy and hope we bring will encourage the believers in Haiti that may be struggling, and I thank God that He has grown strong believers in Haiti that are already doing His work and being used as vessels for His glory.
This past week has been overwhelming to say the least, but God's presence has been so evident in the midst of it all. On Wednesday, I was asked a simple question - "What has God been teaching you? What has God been doing in your life?" I got to thinking about it and had lots of answers. But one thing stood out...
For many months I have been praying that God would give me passion - passion for the Lord, passion for others, passion to serve. As I look back on the months since I began praying that and seeking that, I am amazed. God has gone above and beyond my prayers and expectations. I read scripture in a whole new way. The Word of God has a deeply-rooted truth in my life that wasn't there before. It's like I am reading it for the first time, and my heart and mind are capivated with the love and truth spoken from our Heavenly Father. How could I have missed this before?! Because my reading of scripture has changed, I look at my walk with Christ in a whole new way. I am called to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. That means everything I am and everything I have is devoted to Christ above any other commitment I may have. I am called to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will direct my path. That means I have to push my pride aside, acknowledge my own inadequacy, put all my heart and trust in the hands of God, and recognize that I do everything in and through the Lord. I am called to take up my cross and follow after Christ. That means I leave behind the things of this world, cling to the call God has placed on my life, and seek to live the way Jesus lived. That means I am to pursue Christ passionately and persistently. I am called to reflect and represent Jesus Christ in all I do. That means I must deny my worldly desires and be aware that I am living for something more than fleeting pleasure. That means I must read scripture to know how I can best reflect Christ.
God has answered my prayer for passion. He has given me a passionate desire to pursue Him and a passioate love beyond any I've ever known. I pray that as I go to Haiti that passionate love would spill out of me into the lives of the Haitians around me. I pray that Jesus Christ would begin stirring up a passion in the lives of those in Haiti to love and follow the Lord. I pray that their hearts and minds would be open to our service and the message we bring with us. I pray that the joy and hope we bring will encourage the believers in Haiti that may be struggling, and I thank God that He has grown strong believers in Haiti that are already doing His work and being used as vessels for His glory.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
In the midst of fear, I cling to truth.
A week and a half until I leave for Haiti with my team. Everyone keeps asking if I'm excited. Of course I'm excited! But the feelings go much beyond that. I must admit that the thought has crossed my mind several times, "What have I gotten myself into?" I think I underestimated what a challenge this trip is going to be - not only physically but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Between the lack of hygeine, foreign environment, mass amounts of destruction, extreme devastation, overwhelming poverty, bodily adjustments, physical labor, spiritual alertness, and culture shock, I was struggling to stay calm when I started thinking about it all. But then I remembered why I began this journey. God has called me to this. He has given me a passion for the lost, poor, needy, and orphaned.
The Bible is filled with stories of God calling people and protecting & equipping them for the task in front of them – Noah, David and Goliath, Daniel, Ruth, Moses, the Israelites, Joshua, Mary, Paul, and so many others. One of my favorite passages of encouragement when I begin to doubt that I have what it takes is Jeremiah 1:4-10.
The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”
In Joshua 1:9 the Lord told Joshua “This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
God will equip me. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to Haiti to serve others and demonstrate the Lord's love. I will be in an environment I don't know with a people I don't know in a culture I don't know. I don't know how my body will react and adjust to the physical changes. I will be uncomfortable to say the least. I will see devastation and poverty beyond what I can imagine. I will be moved for the people of Haiti, and my heart will break for them. I will be in danger of being in the midst of an aftershock earthquake. Even though I may be afraid of what lies ahead, I know that God will provide for His will to be done. He can overcome anything and everything that I may see as a barrier or hindrance. He can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine.
The Bible is filled with stories of God calling people and protecting & equipping them for the task in front of them – Noah, David and Goliath, Daniel, Ruth, Moses, the Israelites, Joshua, Mary, Paul, and so many others. One of my favorite passages of encouragement when I begin to doubt that I have what it takes is Jeremiah 1:4-10.
The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”
In Joshua 1:9 the Lord told Joshua “This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
God will equip me. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to Haiti to serve others and demonstrate the Lord's love. I will be in an environment I don't know with a people I don't know in a culture I don't know. I don't know how my body will react and adjust to the physical changes. I will be uncomfortable to say the least. I will see devastation and poverty beyond what I can imagine. I will be moved for the people of Haiti, and my heart will break for them. I will be in danger of being in the midst of an aftershock earthquake. Even though I may be afraid of what lies ahead, I know that God will provide for His will to be done. He can overcome anything and everything that I may see as a barrier or hindrance. He can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine.
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