I can say that in the past couple months my love for the Lord has grown so great that my little heart wants to burst, and with that the love I have for my precious children in Uganda has only increased. I have not ceased to receive emails and messages anticipating my arrival. Several weeks ago the oldest of the girls, Fauziya, asked if she could have a cell phone. Mama Sara told her, "Fauziya, you don't need a phone! You don't have anyone to call. What would you do with it?" And Fauziya responded in a matter-of-fact tone, "I need to call Aunt Kelsey so I can tell her to hurry and come home." Oh, how I love each of those adorable little ones! I long to wrap my arms around them, hear their laughter fill the air, and kiss them each goodnight. That love the Lord has given me, the way He has knit my hearts with theirs as family, it has all made these recent days very trying. But the Lord has shown me that I must never forget He has filled me with His love so that I might glorify Him. Sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in emotions and lose sight of our sole purpose.
Love means obedience - obedience when it is frustrating, confusing, difficult, and even gut-wrenching. So it is only by the grace of God and his ever-increasing love inside me that I have submitted to God's guidance in my life. Through multiple separate instances that occurred very suddenly and within just a couple days of each other, I was forced to reevaluate my decision to move to Uganda after graduation. My church leadership and several sources of respected, godly counsel in my life have presented strong concerns about me moving to Uganda so soon. These people include physicians, nurses, parents, pastors, and dear friends who feel very strongly that I will be missing out on needed nursing experience as well as family time bonding with my newly adopted little brothers. So it is with a heavy heart and many tears that I have decided to remain in Texas for at least another year or two - whenever it is that the Lord is ready to launch me into a third world nation unreached with nursing care and the great news of Jesus Christ.
One of the many beautiful things about God is that He is so faithful to be our joy, comfort, and peace in the hardest time. I love experiencing God answer prayers, and that is just what He has done when He fills me with joy that otherwise would not be. I have come to know a joy and peace that are so much deeper than the lingering sadness from present circumstances. And I thank God because that is purely Jesus.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
What a faithfulness and glorious God we serve!
So, I know one of the next questions you probably want to know. What am I going to do now? Well, I am just a day away from completing and submitting job applications for 3 nursing internships: Scott & White Children's Hospital Emergency Department, Scott & White Children's Hospital acute care floor, and Scott & White Memorial Emergency Department (That's the big people hospital. Not kids.) I hope to be offered one of those internships and live in Temple. Then after beginning my nursing job I will start actively praying and searching for where the Lord would have me move overseas. So that's my tentative plan. It scares me to say it too many times because I think I can almost hear God chuckling up there. "Your plans, Kelsey. Haha! Just you wait and see what I have in store for you, my daughter." Whatever it is, I know it will be far more fabulous than I could ever imagine!
