Here are my journal entries from the first 2 days of my trip to Haiti:
DAY 1: Sat, March 13, 2010 8:11pm
The journey begins...
The plane just took off. I am officially on my way. It still feels surreal to me that in less than 24 hours I will be in Haiti. I don't know at what point it will all hit me. But I'm ready! No fear, no anxiety, no hesitation. Just excitement, peace, and thankfulness. I'm ready for everything that lies ahead. God is going to do wonderful things this week, and I get the opportunity to be a part of it. I didn't expect to get this amazing opportunity so just being a part of it and seeing how God has ochestrated this trip so far has been a blessing. God's hand has definitely been in our preparations from each of our team members that were chosen to now.
I am confident that the Lord has prepared me for His work. At times I feel ill-equipped for such a chance to show the Lord's love to the hurting people of Haiti, but I know the Holy Spirit is in me. With a humble attitude and a servant's heart the Lord can work through me.
"This is my command - be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Our team is great, and I'm looking forward to getting to know each of them better. Poor Rachel has been throwing up on the plane as a side effect to her malaria medication. I hope and pray that the Lord restores her health & strength quickly.
Well that's all for now. Tonight we are staying at a hotel in Miami and then flying out tomorrow afternoon for Haiti. Until tomorrow - Orevoua!
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DAY 2: Sun, March 14, 2010 6:54pm
A country overwhelmed with poverty
Today has surely been a long day! Last night our plane landed in Miami around 11:45pm, and it took an hour and a half before the first bag from our flight appeared on the baggage belt. After all was said & done we arrived to our hotel at 2am. Just to our luck, last night was the “spring forward” daylight savings time so we actually arrived to the hotel at 3am and were in bed by 3:30. After a short 3 ½ hours of sleep we awoke to begin our day and continue on our journey to Haiti. Needless to say, after arriving back to Miami International Airport we were all still tired so about half of our team grabbed a bag as a pillow and laid down on the floor of the airport to rest. I was lucky enough to get almost 2 hours of rest while we waited for out flight.
As we all anxiously awaited our flight time, our team met a young man named Woody who began talking to us. He is from Haiti but moved to the U.S. many years ago. He was returning to Haiti to visit his mother who he hasn’t seen in 9 years. He asked us questions about our trip, and come to find our he is a Christian. Long story short, we talked with him for at least a good hour and listened as he encouraged us in our work for Christ and shared with us more about Haitian culture. Before it was time to board the plane we asked if we could pray for him. We all gathered around him, and Jon Dean prayed for his safety, courageous heart, and reuniting with his family.
The plane ride was filled with anxiety and excitement, but I wasn’t prepared for what I would face once we left the airport. We de-boarded the plane and were shuttled over to a portable annex building where we would go through immigration and baggage claim. After searching out all of our 14 checked bags of supplies, the boys loaded them onto 4 baggage carts. We were then instructed to stay close together and refuse to let anyone help with our bags. As soon as we exited baggage claim we were immediately face-to-face with the devastation and poverty of Haiti.
There were Haitian men lined up all outside the makeshift airport waiting to try to take our bags for us in return for money. Jen, Jeff, and Dan had told us to politely & sternly say “No, merci” and continue on. So I wasn’t incredibly surprised when we were confronted by the men. What I was totally taken back by were all the little Haitian boys that came to us as we were waiting for the bags to be loaded into the truck. A little boy probably about 6 years old came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder begging me for money. I knew that I had to say no despite the fact that I carried $80 in my wallet. Having to turn that little boy away broke something inside me, and it only got worse. Before I knew what was going on there were small boys all around us asking for money. My heart broke for them as I thought of the conditions they must be living in. The mob of boys followed us & grew bigger as Dan, me, and 3 other girls on the team followed John Alix Paul to his truck down the road. John Alix is a Haitian pastor in Guibert and the director of Hope for the Hungry’s boys’ home. Even as we got in the truck and shut the door there were boys knocking on the windows with their desperate expressions. I couldn’t help but think of the stark contrast between those skinny, filthy little Haitian boys begging for money and the well-groomed, care-free American children I see every day with all the toys they could dream of and not a single thought of where their food will come from. I asked Dan if he thought those boys had families. He told me that some probably have parents that sent them to beg for money, but some are orphaned from the earthquake or other circumstances & have nowhere to go.
We pulled away from the crowd of young boys and the trip up the mountain to Guibert began. That trip was…heart-wrenching. To see such natural beauty in the mountains and then find the most horrendous cases of poverty, need, and destruction in its midst raises so many thoughts, emotions, and convictions. To see pictures of all the destruction is nothing like driving through it and being confronted by it in such a abrupt, personal way.
John Alix drove us to his home where we will be staying for the week. His home is beautiful. It is 2 stories with decorative tile & wood flooring. The architecture and layout of the house are so unique from any home in the U.S. The room where the girls will be staying is upstairs, and the boys are staying downstairs in an open room.
We met Mi Lynn (John Alix’s wife), Lori (his 10-yr-o daughter), and Marklee (his 7-yr-o son). Junior, John Alix’s brother, lives next door with his wife & 4 kids (Victoria, Gregory, Cedric, and Jhiel). We played with the kids outside for hours until we were called inside for dinner. Dinner was wonderful! Everything was naturally grown, homemade, and had its own unique flavor. By homemade I mean buy a live chicken, break its neck, chop its head off, gut it, season it, and cook it. Good stuff! As gross as it sounds, I think it would be a fun adventure to learn how to do that.
Well like I said, today has been a long day, and tomorrow may very well be more exhausting so I think it’s about time I get some sleep.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Learning Dependence
I'm off to Haiti today. I find myself at a loss for words. I can't believe the day has finally come. You know that nervous, anxious, excited feeling of adrenaline rush you get in your stomach that feels like butterflies but makes you almost wanna throw up? I woke up this morning with that feeling lurking inside me.
I have come to realize in preparing for this journey that I have become very comfortable with where I am. And so many times comfort leads to complacency - at least in my case. I have found comfort in my constant access to food, hot showers, clean water, plumbing, electricity, sturdy shelter, Christian friends, money, my planner, internet, education, organization, and so many other things that I take for granted. I always have some idea of what lies ahead. Sometimes there are bumps in the road that I didn't expect, but I am never traveling blindly or completely throw off course.
All of that to say that when you feel like you have everything under control and anything you need is at your disposal, you cease to depend on the Lord. You cease to seek after Him and cling to His promise that He will always provide for His children. I should be satisfied in seeking the Lord, following His will for me, and striving to obey His commands. He tells us that He will not forsake us. If God loved us enough to sacrifice His only Son to save our souls then don't you think He will provide for our needs while we are on this earth? When I put it that way it sounds so silly not to trust that God will provide. But in each of our hearts we either have some doubt that His Word is true and He will provide, or we have a fear of the uncomfortable. To be honest, I think maybe my reason has been a bit of both of those.
As I prepared for this trip God has opened my eyes to my complacency and repulsed me with my own self. But that is good because it brings about change. As I've gone days without showering, taken ice cold showers, eaten less at each meal, and found myself in almost constant prayer, I have slowly begun to depend more on Christ to be my only source of fulfillment. I have said that many times, but until now I don't think I have truly known what it means to become dependent on Christ alone because there is no way I will get through this week and all that it entails on my own strength, power, and provision.
I have come to realize in preparing for this journey that I have become very comfortable with where I am. And so many times comfort leads to complacency - at least in my case. I have found comfort in my constant access to food, hot showers, clean water, plumbing, electricity, sturdy shelter, Christian friends, money, my planner, internet, education, organization, and so many other things that I take for granted. I always have some idea of what lies ahead. Sometimes there are bumps in the road that I didn't expect, but I am never traveling blindly or completely throw off course.
All of that to say that when you feel like you have everything under control and anything you need is at your disposal, you cease to depend on the Lord. You cease to seek after Him and cling to His promise that He will always provide for His children. I should be satisfied in seeking the Lord, following His will for me, and striving to obey His commands. He tells us that He will not forsake us. If God loved us enough to sacrifice His only Son to save our souls then don't you think He will provide for our needs while we are on this earth? When I put it that way it sounds so silly not to trust that God will provide. But in each of our hearts we either have some doubt that His Word is true and He will provide, or we have a fear of the uncomfortable. To be honest, I think maybe my reason has been a bit of both of those.
As I prepared for this trip God has opened my eyes to my complacency and repulsed me with my own self. But that is good because it brings about change. As I've gone days without showering, taken ice cold showers, eaten less at each meal, and found myself in almost constant prayer, I have slowly begun to depend more on Christ to be my only source of fulfillment. I have said that many times, but until now I don't think I have truly known what it means to become dependent on Christ alone because there is no way I will get through this week and all that it entails on my own strength, power, and provision.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Passion from the Father
Tomorrow is the day. At this time tomorrow I will be arriving at the airport to begin my journey to Haiti. Our team will be flying to Miami on Saturday and then flying out to Haiti on Sunday morning.
This past week has been overwhelming to say the least, but God's presence has been so evident in the midst of it all. On Wednesday, I was asked a simple question - "What has God been teaching you? What has God been doing in your life?" I got to thinking about it and had lots of answers. But one thing stood out...
For many months I have been praying that God would give me passion - passion for the Lord, passion for others, passion to serve. As I look back on the months since I began praying that and seeking that, I am amazed. God has gone above and beyond my prayers and expectations. I read scripture in a whole new way. The Word of God has a deeply-rooted truth in my life that wasn't there before. It's like I am reading it for the first time, and my heart and mind are capivated with the love and truth spoken from our Heavenly Father. How could I have missed this before?! Because my reading of scripture has changed, I look at my walk with Christ in a whole new way. I am called to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. That means everything I am and everything I have is devoted to Christ above any other commitment I may have. I am called to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will direct my path. That means I have to push my pride aside, acknowledge my own inadequacy, put all my heart and trust in the hands of God, and recognize that I do everything in and through the Lord. I am called to take up my cross and follow after Christ. That means I leave behind the things of this world, cling to the call God has placed on my life, and seek to live the way Jesus lived. That means I am to pursue Christ passionately and persistently. I am called to reflect and represent Jesus Christ in all I do. That means I must deny my worldly desires and be aware that I am living for something more than fleeting pleasure. That means I must read scripture to know how I can best reflect Christ.
God has answered my prayer for passion. He has given me a passionate desire to pursue Him and a passioate love beyond any I've ever known. I pray that as I go to Haiti that passionate love would spill out of me into the lives of the Haitians around me. I pray that Jesus Christ would begin stirring up a passion in the lives of those in Haiti to love and follow the Lord. I pray that their hearts and minds would be open to our service and the message we bring with us. I pray that the joy and hope we bring will encourage the believers in Haiti that may be struggling, and I thank God that He has grown strong believers in Haiti that are already doing His work and being used as vessels for His glory.
This past week has been overwhelming to say the least, but God's presence has been so evident in the midst of it all. On Wednesday, I was asked a simple question - "What has God been teaching you? What has God been doing in your life?" I got to thinking about it and had lots of answers. But one thing stood out...
For many months I have been praying that God would give me passion - passion for the Lord, passion for others, passion to serve. As I look back on the months since I began praying that and seeking that, I am amazed. God has gone above and beyond my prayers and expectations. I read scripture in a whole new way. The Word of God has a deeply-rooted truth in my life that wasn't there before. It's like I am reading it for the first time, and my heart and mind are capivated with the love and truth spoken from our Heavenly Father. How could I have missed this before?! Because my reading of scripture has changed, I look at my walk with Christ in a whole new way. I am called to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. That means everything I am and everything I have is devoted to Christ above any other commitment I may have. I am called to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and He will direct my path. That means I have to push my pride aside, acknowledge my own inadequacy, put all my heart and trust in the hands of God, and recognize that I do everything in and through the Lord. I am called to take up my cross and follow after Christ. That means I leave behind the things of this world, cling to the call God has placed on my life, and seek to live the way Jesus lived. That means I am to pursue Christ passionately and persistently. I am called to reflect and represent Jesus Christ in all I do. That means I must deny my worldly desires and be aware that I am living for something more than fleeting pleasure. That means I must read scripture to know how I can best reflect Christ.
God has answered my prayer for passion. He has given me a passionate desire to pursue Him and a passioate love beyond any I've ever known. I pray that as I go to Haiti that passionate love would spill out of me into the lives of the Haitians around me. I pray that Jesus Christ would begin stirring up a passion in the lives of those in Haiti to love and follow the Lord. I pray that their hearts and minds would be open to our service and the message we bring with us. I pray that the joy and hope we bring will encourage the believers in Haiti that may be struggling, and I thank God that He has grown strong believers in Haiti that are already doing His work and being used as vessels for His glory.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
In the midst of fear, I cling to truth.
A week and a half until I leave for Haiti with my team. Everyone keeps asking if I'm excited. Of course I'm excited! But the feelings go much beyond that. I must admit that the thought has crossed my mind several times, "What have I gotten myself into?" I think I underestimated what a challenge this trip is going to be - not only physically but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Between the lack of hygeine, foreign environment, mass amounts of destruction, extreme devastation, overwhelming poverty, bodily adjustments, physical labor, spiritual alertness, and culture shock, I was struggling to stay calm when I started thinking about it all. But then I remembered why I began this journey. God has called me to this. He has given me a passion for the lost, poor, needy, and orphaned.
The Bible is filled with stories of God calling people and protecting & equipping them for the task in front of them – Noah, David and Goliath, Daniel, Ruth, Moses, the Israelites, Joshua, Mary, Paul, and so many others. One of my favorite passages of encouragement when I begin to doubt that I have what it takes is Jeremiah 1:4-10.
The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”
In Joshua 1:9 the Lord told Joshua “This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
God will equip me. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to Haiti to serve others and demonstrate the Lord's love. I will be in an environment I don't know with a people I don't know in a culture I don't know. I don't know how my body will react and adjust to the physical changes. I will be uncomfortable to say the least. I will see devastation and poverty beyond what I can imagine. I will be moved for the people of Haiti, and my heart will break for them. I will be in danger of being in the midst of an aftershock earthquake. Even though I may be afraid of what lies ahead, I know that God will provide for His will to be done. He can overcome anything and everything that I may see as a barrier or hindrance. He can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine.
The Bible is filled with stories of God calling people and protecting & equipping them for the task in front of them – Noah, David and Goliath, Daniel, Ruth, Moses, the Israelites, Joshua, Mary, Paul, and so many others. One of my favorite passages of encouragement when I begin to doubt that I have what it takes is Jeremiah 1:4-10.
The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” “O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth! Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”
In Joshua 1:9 the Lord told Joshua “This is my command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
God will equip me. It’s as simple as that. I’m going to Haiti to serve others and demonstrate the Lord's love. I will be in an environment I don't know with a people I don't know in a culture I don't know. I don't know how my body will react and adjust to the physical changes. I will be uncomfortable to say the least. I will see devastation and poverty beyond what I can imagine. I will be moved for the people of Haiti, and my heart will break for them. I will be in danger of being in the midst of an aftershock earthquake. Even though I may be afraid of what lies ahead, I know that God will provide for His will to be done. He can overcome anything and everything that I may see as a barrier or hindrance. He can do immeasurably more than I could ever ask or imagine.
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