I can hardly believe fall semester is already halfway over. Nursing school has been quite the whirlwind. I could say I've loved every minute of it, but the constant studying does get tiring after a while. Other than that, I have been absolutely ecstatic about all I have gotten to do and learn! Clinicals are challenging and exciting, full of new expreiences and trying to balance all my responsibilities as a nurse. I have gotten to put my knowledge into practice and aquire knowledge of things they don't teach you in class. The best part about it all is caring for the patients. Each week I try to convey Christ through my nursing care, nurturing love, and encouraging words. I thank the Lord each day for the blessing He has given me to intersect my life with the lives of my patients. Anxiety was high as I thought about my first clinical semester of nursing school, but God has been faithful to carry me through everything.
Inevitably when I get the chance to care for my patients, my heart longs for the day that I can care for the sick & dying of third world countries who have no one to treat them. They have no hospital, no clinic, no medical help. Instead, they lie in filth and dirt wasting away with no idea or means of what to do to ease the pain and stop the illness. The malnourished children, the AIDS victims, the pregnant & scared young girls, the poor lives infected with preventable & treatable diseases - all they need is someone to help them, to care for them, to teach them, to be by their side, to share hope, to show them a better life. That is what God has called me to, and my heart jumps with anticipation for the day I can finally fulfill that. I have been prayfully seeking out direction from God of where to serve this summer. It would be greatly appreciated if you would join me in asking the Lord to open up opportunities to serve the rural, third world population who desperately need medical care and, more importantly, desperately need to know the Lord.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
When struggles come my way and temptations seem too much to bear...
There are many times that I have felt like my walk with the Lord is like a circle...or maybe a spiral. It just goes round and round passing the same points time after time just with a wider impact. Like when I grow stronger I fall harder, but it is always the same struggles and the same lessons. And to be completely honest, it gets frustrating.
Then there are other times when I have felt like my walk with the Lord is like a line, a wave even. It goes up and down, sometimes slowly, sometimes plummeting...like a nauseating rollercoaster. You get an adrenaline rush when your going up and then that funny feeling when you fall that makes your stomach float in mid-air for a few seconds before you begin to blackout and just want to vomit. There are times when it crescendos and then fades off.
But I have determined that my relationship with God can't be compared to a line, a wave, a spiral, a path, a mountain, an ocean, or any other symbolism. There is no sense in trying to think up an awe-inspiring imagery because it isn't like anything else in this world. The closest thing God can compare it to is marriage, but even that doesn't suffice because not only is He our Lover & Friend but also our Father, Judge, Creator, Sustainer, Savior, Protector, Provider, Healer. That relationship is always growing, changing. It is of such unique character that it can only be described moment to moment. At this moment I am at a loss for words to completely explain what the Lord is doing in me, but I will try my best to articulate it.
Even in the midst of struggle the Lord moves in amazing ways. I hate those times when I find myself struggling with things of the past - those things that you were sure you had gotten rid of and moved on from. But I am beginning to learn that as a human, I am never rid of temptation so my struggles of the past will never stay in the past. It is exhausting, and it ceratinly hurts to revisit places filled with guilt & pain. The difference now is I have found intimacy with Christ, I have seen the beauty of walking in His will, I have tasted the joy found in His abounding love & grace. I am a new creation. My strength is in Christ who has overcome the world. His truth I will cling to as this battle rages on. I used to wonder when the day will come that there will be peace, but as long as I am of human flesh this battle will continue until the day that I am reunited with my Savior.
I am more than a conqueror through Christ who loves me and gave His life for my redemption. Therefore, I will seek Him with unrelenting passion. Along the way I will learn humility, sacfrice, love, honesty, repentance, patience, joy, forgiveness, and be molded to look more & more like Jesus Christ each day.
Then there are other times when I have felt like my walk with the Lord is like a line, a wave even. It goes up and down, sometimes slowly, sometimes plummeting...like a nauseating rollercoaster. You get an adrenaline rush when your going up and then that funny feeling when you fall that makes your stomach float in mid-air for a few seconds before you begin to blackout and just want to vomit. There are times when it crescendos and then fades off.
But I have determined that my relationship with God can't be compared to a line, a wave, a spiral, a path, a mountain, an ocean, or any other symbolism. There is no sense in trying to think up an awe-inspiring imagery because it isn't like anything else in this world. The closest thing God can compare it to is marriage, but even that doesn't suffice because not only is He our Lover & Friend but also our Father, Judge, Creator, Sustainer, Savior, Protector, Provider, Healer. That relationship is always growing, changing. It is of such unique character that it can only be described moment to moment. At this moment I am at a loss for words to completely explain what the Lord is doing in me, but I will try my best to articulate it.
Even in the midst of struggle the Lord moves in amazing ways. I hate those times when I find myself struggling with things of the past - those things that you were sure you had gotten rid of and moved on from. But I am beginning to learn that as a human, I am never rid of temptation so my struggles of the past will never stay in the past. It is exhausting, and it ceratinly hurts to revisit places filled with guilt & pain. The difference now is I have found intimacy with Christ, I have seen the beauty of walking in His will, I have tasted the joy found in His abounding love & grace. I am a new creation. My strength is in Christ who has overcome the world. His truth I will cling to as this battle rages on. I used to wonder when the day will come that there will be peace, but as long as I am of human flesh this battle will continue until the day that I am reunited with my Savior.
I am more than a conqueror through Christ who loves me and gave His life for my redemption. Therefore, I will seek Him with unrelenting passion. Along the way I will learn humility, sacfrice, love, honesty, repentance, patience, joy, forgiveness, and be molded to look more & more like Jesus Christ each day.
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