An answered prayer for an anxious heart

Here's a crazy cool God story for you.

Saturday evening, January 7th I got back to my apartment at UMHB after being home for a month, and all of a sudden as I sat alone in my apartment I got really homesick. I know. It sounds silly. I got a little teary-eyed, and then the thought popped in my hear, "How much more am I going to miss my family when I'm thousands of miles away from them for so long?" I started bawling in the middle of my apartment by myself, and the waterworks continued for quite a while. I started thinking, "Oh my goodness, what did I get myself into? Did I just make a huge mistake? God, what if this wasn't your plan? What if everything at Passion was my own emotions?" All these doubts started running through my mind. If this was a mistake then God isn't going to provide, and that will just show everyone that I'm being crazy and irresponsible.

After letting my mind run away with me for a little while, I decided I should pull out my Bible. Always a good idea =) So I spent a good amount of time sitting in the quiet stillness of my apartment praying and reading scripture. I read Psalm 34. It begins, "I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak his praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord's greatness; let us exalt his name together. I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces." And David continues on praising God for his goodness and proclaiming his faithfulness to his children. He speaks of our Heavenly Father as our refuge and protection, urging us to cry out to his because he hears us and cares for us. What a beautiful passage! It spoke to my doubting heart and calmed my fears just as the Lord promised. So I told God, "I know you are the one sending me to Uganda, and I know you will provide. But God, I just need some reassurance."

Fast forward two days later to Monday afternoon. The first day of class is over. One of my former instructors sees me visiting in another professor's office. She comes in, hands me a sealed envelope, and simply says, "That is for you. My mother wanted to give it to you before you left to Uganda for the summer but forgot. So that is for when you go back." I found that off with all things considered. At that point she would not have known I was already planning to move back after graduation. Surprised and a little confused, I graciously thanked her several times. Once I left the nursing building, I opened the envelope to find a check dated New Year's Eve (right before I arrived at the Passion 2012 Conference) written to me for $500 from a woman I have never met. And at that moment I felt God whisper to me deep down in my heart "See. I am faithful to provide for my children. I am faithful to provide for my will."

It gives me chills every time I think about it. Isn't that wonderful?!?! God is so good. I haven't even made the first effort to start raising funds. Bye golly, I hadn't hardly told anyone yet. But God, in his goodness, laid it on a sweet woman's heart to write out a check for $500 before he even spoke peace into my heart about moving in Uganda.