The gospel in adoption

It's been a long time - 4 months since my last post.  A whole lot can happen in 4 months.  And a lot HAS happened in the past 4 months.  I wish I could say most of the change was for the better, but I'm not sure that would be true.

I had such big plans for the last few months of this year - to dig into scripture on a deeper level, begin hosting a small discipleship group, find a missions sending agency, begin planning my next trip overseas, get plugged in to a new outlet to serve others, learn to play the guitar, take self defense classes.  I had all these plans to be intentional about growing in my faith and making strides in this process of moving overseas.  But none of those things happened, and that is really upsetting.  What is even more upsetting is that I feel like I have drifted far from Christ in recent months.  I have not taken the kind of time to spend with Him that I should have.  I have not grown in knowledge and intimacy with Christ.  In fact, I have allowed sin to creep back into my life that had not been a struggle in years.  And that kills me.  All because I became lazy and complacent.  I don't know about y'all, but it is hard to remain intentional with my time and energy every day. And once you are in that place of complacency and struggle, the guilt can become difficult to bear.  You blame yourself and let the shame accumulate, wondering how you could have let it come to this.  It leaves this uneasy, nauseous feeling in my gut that ruminates there without end.

But a couple weeks ago God began to grab my attention and give me sweet reminders of His truth.

He reminded me of the last time I allowed guilt and shame to define my life - how horribly miserable I was.  And then He reminded me of the gospel - the message of His only Son that was brought into this world as a humble babe in a lowly stable to live a flawless life, love, teach, heal, and then to bear the suffocating weight of the sins of the world and die a brutal death on a cross so that he could overcome death, ascend to fellowship with his Heavenly Father, and be the Redeemer that we so long for who grants forgiveness of sins and reunites us with our Creator, Father, King.  To experience His glorious grace, the forgiveness of my sins, the redemption of my wrecked soul is truly like nothing else I have ever known.

One of the most beautiful pictures of the gospel that I have ever seen in this life is in my own family - adoption.

The whole process of adoption is an example of God's love for his children.  And boy, it is a long process!  The waiting, wondering, and praying before you can be united as a family only make you long for your children even more as your love for them becomes so great you think your heart may burst.  But God shows His goodness even in the moments of waiting and longing.  Then when the moment finally arrives when you are united as a family, it is a precious time filled with smiles and lots of love.  I will never forget when my dad sat us all down on our first day together as a family and told the boys how excited we were to be with them. "Leanne and I would like for you to call us Mom and Dad whenever you are ready, but it you don't want to right now then that's okay."  Ethan immediately responded, "Mom and Dad are good with me."  "Yeah, me too", Exavier said with a smile.  For that first weekend together, the next visit after that, and eve when they finally came to live at the house, my heart would smile every time I heard them say "Mom and Dad".  At first you could tell they found reasons just to say it.  They were just as excited as we were to finally be a family.

uscielski

     [From L to R] Kelsey, Laney, Exavier, Leanne, Ethan, Kendall, and Kent Anderson.
    Family photo by Kathy Chruscielski

Adjusting to life with a 7-year-old and 10-year-old in the house was not all butterflies and rainbows.  Let me assure you of that.  There were bumpy moments along the way, but even in those moments I could see the gospel being played out.  Ethan and Exavier had only been with us a few weeks when we were all outside playing kickball one afternoon.  Exavier was swinging on a lamp post that served as first base.  My dad told him not to swing on the lamp post more than once, but of course most 7-year-old boys have to learn the hard way not to do things.  Suddenly, one of the glass panels in the lamp came loose and shattered on the ground, startling Exavier.  My dad ran over to him to see if he was alright, and his voice became more stern, "That is why I told you not to swing on the lamp post.  You could break something and hurt yourself."  Exavier began to cry and ran over to sit by a tree away from my parents.  My mom went over to him to console him, and a few moments later my dad went over to him as well.  I heard them explaining to him, "You need to obey us when we tell you something.  We didn't want you to get hurt.  But we still love you even when you disobey.  You are always going to be a part of this family even when you do something you aren't supposed to.  We will always love you just the same no matter what you do."

To think that those same words are true of God's relationship with me brings me to my knees with repentance, thankfulness, and humility.

And then there was the adoption day in court.  The boys had been part of our family for over 6 months, but this was the day that it would finally be made legal in the eyes of the state.  All 7 of us drove down in our 7-passenger Suburban (talk about being close!) to the city where they had lived previously where the adoption finalization would take place.  That morning we all got dressed up for court, excited for the day that was ahead of us.  There were close friends and family with us at the court house that day.  None of us could hide our excitement.  Even court attendants made comments to us, "I have never seen this much happiness and excitement in one place."  When they called for us to go in, we all packed into the small court room.  My mom started crying as my parents promised to love and care for Ethan and Exavier forever.  The judge declared Ethan and Exavier an official part of the Anderson family.  It was something that had happens long before that moment, but it was now official.  As we walked out of the court room, Exavier wanted me to pick him up as he always does.  Ethan turned to look at me and asked, "So this means I am an Anderson forever?"  "Yes!  That is what is means.", I responded.  "Yes!!", he cheered with a big smile on his face.  Exavier's response was a little different but still so touching.  He had his head buried in my shoulder, and I asked him if he was okay.  He just nodded his head, and I realized he was crying.  I told him to took at me and asked him, "What's wrong, buddy?"  He had tears running down his cheeks as he told me, "I'm just really happy."  He hugged me tighter, and I couldn't help but cry.  It was all such a beautiful picture of the love and joy of when a family comes together - when a parent can say "You are mine forever" and when a child can rest in knowing that they belong to a family forever.  The joy and peace that comes over everyone at that moment is indescribable.

Through all of this and still now I have seen my parents display the kind of redeeming, unconditional love that God has for each of His children time and time again.  They show the utmost patience, gentle understanding, and loving discipline that we see in scripture as part of God's character.

There are time when I forget or doubt my identity in Christ as a child of God, but Ephesians 1: 5 says "God decided in advance to adopt us into his family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.  This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure." I am His forever.  I am a child of God, but I can be stubborn, difficult, and unruly at times.  It is a comfort to this wayward child that no matter my disobedience, neglect, or selfishness, Jesus' forgiveness is never out of my reach, God's love can never be exhausted, and my identity as a child of God will remain forever.